How to connect with your Mother’s Intuition.
5 min read
I got inspired to write about this article after listening to a very interesting episode from Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast. It’s an episode about “Why We Struggle To Hear Our Intuition And 5 Ways To Learn To Trust Yourself”
What got me curious about this episode is that as mothers we are frequently told that we should listen to our intuition but, do we really know how to do this?
Especially in those early days after having a baby and also later on as they move through the different developmental stages, we are faced with doubt as we have to take so many decisions that will impact their physical and mental well-being. From how are we going to feed them and how we will approach discipline, difficult behaviours like hitting or biting, to choosing the best childcare option and even deciding what we want to do professionally now that we are mothers.
We are constantly told to “trust your gut, only you will know what’s best for your baby and your family.'“ No pressure eh!!
It’s as if when we became mothers we developed some sort of gift that will magically tell us what to do… While it is true our brains completely change and rewire when we become mothers to be more intuitive and empathetic, many of us struggle to tap into and therefore trust our intuition. As we deal with the busyness of our modern lives, with sleep deprivation and exhaustion, we have no idea of how to tune in and listen to our hearts and our intuition. It all sounds a bit hanky-panky…
The truth is, in our modern world we are very much disconnected from that intuitive ‘sixth sense’ because we have very rarely relied on it for our modern world decision making. We are taught early on to make decisions based on facts, and this is the case particularly in masculine, competitive professional environments. We rely on metrics, data and statistics, we do pros and cons exercises; this analytical way of thinking is a very masculine one and not very intuitive.
But in motherhood and in parenting this very rarely works, now we need to reconnect with that feminine intuition that we have ignored for such a long time.
So, how do we do this? How do we connect with that intuition? In his podcast, Jay talks about 5 different ways to do this, and in this article, I will focus on 2 of them.
Befriend your intuition.
Shetty does a great analogy which is to approach this as if you were trying to re-connect with an old friend. How would you do it? You would set aside TIME to be with that person. Giving it a chance to show up. And you would do this frequently and consistently so your friendship could grow again. In this same way, you need to set time aside to connect with your intuition.
Every day, allow 10, 20 minutes to sit with it, with no distractions. This could be through meditation, by going for a walk without music or any distractions, or perhaps by practising journaling and free writing. These are ways we connect with our inner wisdom and allow our masculine, analytical brains to rest.
If you chose to meditate or go for a walk, I would still recommend you come back to a pen and paper to write down whatever that might have come up for you.
Journaling exercise
When you are having doubts about something, a decision you are trying to make but you can’t decide what’s the best way to go, sit with your intuition and allow it to come to you.
Start by writing how you feel, be as descriptive as possible, but focus on your emotions.
Write about how you would feel in the different scenarios of the dilemma you are facing. Start with something like: “if I choose (fill in the blank with one of your alternatives), I will feel…” and then do the same for every alternative you have in this decision making.
Once you’ve done this come back to read what you’ve written to find any patterns, any ideas that repeat and emotions that might come up.
2. The easiest answer is not always the right one.
One more reason why we struggle to listen to our intuition is that our intuition will not always point us to the easiest choice. As humans, we tend to go for the easiest path, and our brains tend to believe the simplest choice is always the better choice, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the best choice will lead us through an uncomfortable journey and that’s why we’ve been ignoring it and not listening to it.
Now for this, I will paraphrase Jay Shetty: “your intuition is like your best friend, it will tell you what you want to hear, it will guide you towards long-lasting joy, to a place where you can grow, learn and evolve”.
I’m doing exactly this exercise for a big decision I’m facing this year and I’ve allowed my heart and my inner wisdom to show me the right answer. I can feel it in my body, every time I close my eyes and connect with my intuition; it’s there. And now, I realise It was always there. I just wasn’t listening because it’s not the easiest choice, so I was unconsciously trying to ignore it and coming up, with very rational reasons for why it’s not the best choice. But the truth is, that is where my heart is taking me, that is where I believe I ultimately find more joy and how I will be able to shine brighter.
Have a go mama, allow yourself to have these spaces to invite your intuition to show up, start with 10 minutes every day for a week and see what you start to become aware of. You might be surprised!
Links
On Purpose podcast by Jay Shetty
“Why We Struggle To Hear Our Intuition And 5 Ways To Learn To Trust Yourself”